My Short Story

My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to:

• use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
• use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
The green stands for capital letters.
The yellow stands for punctuation 
The light blue stands for vocabulary

My Story...

Life on the Snow

Paragraph 1

On a cold winters day, Indie wakes up to the cold breezes coming from the creek in her window. Indie loves the outdoors, she also loves the winter days and that is why she works at the Ski fields. Indie lives in Queenstown with her mum Jane, dad Simon, and her three siblings Liea, Jack and Liam. Indie is 13 years old so she can’t drive up to the ski fields, but Leia is 17 so every morning, Leia drives her and Indie up to the ski fields to their job.  It all started off when Leia got the job of being a ski helper, she helped the kids that wanted to learn, but that was one year ago and Indie was 12 back then and when Indie turned 13 she had to get a job so she went straight to the ski fields, but that was 4 months ago and now she gives out the right skis to the people who didn’t bring theirs.

Paragraph 2

Later that Morning, Leia drove her and Indie up the mountain, when suddenly the traffic has to stop in the middle of the way up the mountain, but it was just going a bit slower than usually. When Leia and Indie got up to the ski field, their boss, Tia gives them their paycheck for the 2 weeks, they earn $500 each! For it, because they do so well at there job. When there getting their paycheck, Tia asked Indie to check the news for the weather and Indie went back to Tia to tell her that there was a storm coming our way, so we had to get everybody off the ski field before the storm arrives, because the last time they didn’t get everybody off the ski field.

Paragraph 3

By the time they got everybody off the ski field the storm  turned into an avalanche, Indie, Leia, Tia and the other staff people were so happy for getting everybody off the ski field. By the time the snowstorm had finish everything was mostly gone some of the stuff stayed up, but it was a mess, but for the ski house it did last, but one of the heavy wood fell down on where Indie was. There were ambulances at the ski field and there was lot's of help, they had finally found Indie under that heavy block of wood, but she was okay, but her left leg was badly broken, also she couldn't breath so they rushed her off to the hospital.

Paragraph 4

1 Month Later

Indie was back on both feet to find herself at the ski field once more, so Indie had crushed her left leg from that big log of wood, but they fixed her leg so she is back to giving out the right skis to the right people.

! The End !